Do you ever feel like you are here simply to do the tasks at hand? Like you are wondering through life task by task and once those "tasks" are completed, such as feeding the baby, cooking supper for your husband, doing your home work... You are of no use? I know I know... those are VERY useful things, but if you take those things you do for others, what is left? I feel like sometime without Jared or Piper, there really is no use for me. Really, what is left. Take away the diapers and feedings and coos and cuddle time and there is just Jared. Take away all I do for him and there is nothing left. My school falls into both of them because I am getting my education to help put food on the table for them and myself.
DO NOT get me wrong, I love them two with all my heart and soul and would gladly give my life for them any day. But I feel like I am not doing enough to just be me. I am defined as a Daughter, Sister, Student, Wife, and Mother. Some people may call me other things but we won't go into those at this point. I feel somewhat coin-operated , like a machine put here to complete these roles. I live each day to fulfill these titles and never do I try to get my own self established title. Every title I have is dependent on someone else in my life. I want to be something completely established by me, and something non dependent on another human being.
Trying to figure out WHAT is the problem.
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